Hello, beautiful souls. Today’s post is one of the most personal I’ve ever shared. It’s about my intense battle with depression after my divorce—a time when I felt lost in an abyss, struggling to find a sliver of light. This is part of a mental health series aimed at shedding light on the often unspoken pains of mental health struggles. 🌑

The Descent into Darkness

The end of my 20-year marriage was not just the end of a relationship but a profound loss of identity and security. The betrayal I experienced and the subsequent divorce plunged me into a deep, consuming depression. Life lost its color and meaning, leaving me in a perpetual state of grief and detachment.

Days in the Shadows

During this period, my days were marked by an overwhelming inability to find joy in anything. I could not muster the energy to play with my son or care for my beloved cats. My responsibilities as a mother felt like mountains I couldn’t climb. The simple act of getting out of bed, showering, or even brushing my teeth became Herculean tasks.

I was a zombie, moving through life without living it. I hated that I couldn’t be the mother my son deserved or the pet owner my cats needed. My depression wasn’t just a mental burden; it manifested physically, draining all my energy, leaving me lifeless and numb. 😢

The Long Road to Help

Admitting I needed help was a battle in itself. The stigma surrounding mental health, especially about being a “strong single mother,” made it hard to seek the support I desperately needed. Therapy was a step I took with trepidation, but it proved to be a turning point. In therapy, I could voice my fears, my sadness, and the emotional turmoil that I felt I had to hide from the world.

Slow Steps Forward

Healing from depression is not linear. There were setbacks—days I felt I was regressing, haunted by my loneliness and the fragments of my former life. But with consistent mental health support, I learned coping mechanisms that helped me face each day. I learned to acknowledge my feelings rather than hide from them, understanding that it was okay not to be okay.

Sharing to Lighten the Load

I am sharing this not for sympathy, but to connect with anyone who might be in the throes of their battle with depression. You are not alone, even when every shred of your being feels isolated. There is hope, and there is a path that leads out of the darkness.

To Those Still Fighting

If you’re struggling, know that it’s okay to reach out for help. It’s okay to admit that you can’t handle everything on your own. Our strength is not measured by how we struggle, but how we reach out, how we support each other, and how we move forward even in the face of overwhelming odds. 🌟

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This journey is far from easy, and it’s not over. I share my story in the hopes that it might light a path for someone else. Stay tuned for more from this series, where we explore the deep impacts of mental health and the various paths to healing.

With all my love,
💖